Daniel Tosh is Disgusting

 Daniel Tosh likes to joke about rape.  Someone in his audience did not think it was funny, as was written about here.  So, I posted about it on facebook, and this is the awesome conversation that ensued:

And this is why I have awesome friends.  Not one person decided to try to defend Daniel Tosh for being a total douche-bag.  Speaking of which!  You should definitely read the article that was posted called "Douchebag Decree: Daniel Tosh and the "Comedy" of Rape Culture".  It's really, very good.  And ok, maybe she shouldn't have called out during his set.  I realize that constitutes "heckling," and is therefore looked down on.  And yes, comics deal with hecklers in their own way.  But calling on your audience (a lot of whom really look up to you) to act violently or in an invasive way is not the way to deal with it, because they probably will, since they have in the past.  Would Daniel Tosh have really laughed if five of his audience members raped that woman right there, right then?  Probably not.  I would hope not.  But it would be in his name, anyway.

Unfortunately, though, my friends do have a bit of the rape culture blinders on.  When the Lara Croft rape thing was a big deal a month ago, some of my gamer friends, who are pretty aware of gender politics, became complete dick-wads and basically said "You're a tight-ass, frigid, hysterical woman who will get offended by anything," and no matter what I or those who agreed with me said, no matter how solid and academically backed our argument was, it would always come back to that.  That or that I'm not as big of a gamer than them, so therefore I don't know anything about media and rape culture.

But that's the thing with people who will defend media or people who make light of rape culture: they are so invested in it that either 1) they don't think it's a problem but have heard about it or 2) think that it doesn't exist/don't know what it is.  Either way, they will see any criticism as a criticism of the media and, by extension, a criticism of themselves.  Calling for something to be better by no way suggests that everyone that enjoys it is a rapist or a rape apologist.  

Personally, I watch movies and TV and like stand-up comedy and enjoy games and listen to music and sometimes watch music videos.  That in no way means that I don't think it should be better, more self-aware, or not perpetuate the most disgusting parts of our society.  Take hip-hop or rap, for example.  I enjoy that kind of music quite a lot, and that kind of music is pretty misogynistic and rape-y and demeaning to women a lot of the time.  When it's too much, I avoid it, yes, because at that point it's hard to overlook the lyrics for the sake of the music, but it's impossible to avoid ever an instance of misogyny in rap and hip hop.  Or any media, for that matter, if you enjoy the media.  That in no way means it can't get better.  In fact, if you love the media and/or identify with it, you should call for it to become better.

Probably the main reason I love dead prez.

It's the same mentality as neo-conservatives who say, "You're with us or you're against us!" to imply that no one can be a patriot who disagrees with what the government does.  And I disagree.  I believe that one of our responsibilities as citizens is to call on our country to become a better and more moral place.

Or comedians like Patton Oswald who bitched on twitter that someone was offended by a rape joke.  Or when comedians were pissed that Tracy Morgan had to apologize for saying he would stab his son to death if he came out as gay.  That wasn't funny either.

The thing is that it isn't just a joke or just a game or just a whatever.  What we are exposed to in media will affect the way we think and the way we feel about the subjects presented to us.  Media teaches us what is funny, what is acceptable, and what is not funny and acceptable.  Being aware is the first step, and the second step is calling out that joke or game or whatever as offensive, because a lot of what is called out as offensive is offensive because it trivializes rape and violence against gay people and violence against abortion doctors and violence in general, which in turn will cause that violence to occur and then the greater society will not care.

We do live in a rape culture.  We should not.  And people who perpetuate that culture should not be put on some sort of forgiving pedestal because they exist within a certain cultural context.