1. Strong, Female-Female Relationships
I realized recently that all of the female-male relationships in this show only serve to reinforce the relationships between Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte. Even the gay male characters serve this purpose. It seems that many people write off the show as a television version of Cosmopolitan, where the intent is to attempt to make women view their self worth in terms of what men they have and how one can then please a man once he has been attained. But this is not the case. In reality, this show is about being happy being single, and not being single, and reinforcing the idea that female-female friendships should be the leaning-post in a woman's life. In fact, the fairytale idea of romantic love that almost any person raised in the West ascribes to (or feels expected to ascribe to)? Not really present in this show. The only character that even attempts to have this kind of love, Charlotte, is disappointed over and over until she is forced to reconsider what love really is. In the episode The Agony and the Ecstasy, she says, "Maybe we can be each others' soul mates, and then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with."
Throughout human history, female-female friendships have always been one of the most important kinds of relationships a woman can have. It is not the relationship with her husband - in fact, in many cultures, the way women speak about their relationships with their husbands is very negative. Though, this may be only in specific kinds of kinship systems, but let's not delve into anthropological theory. The point is, women in Western society, at least in the United states have been raised to think of other women as back-stabbing bitches who are only out to get theirs. That is, women are thought of as competing for the best male (social Darwinism - one of the most disgusting bastardizations of Darwin's theories). Our fairy tales begin and end with that male. This show is entirely against that idea. It forces healthy friendships into the light and presents them as an important part of a woman's life. And they are. It is this idea of competition between women that is so disgusting and has done nothing but to attempt to sever these important relationships, which in effect is an attempt to dismantle the woman's rights movement. In my opinion.
I think this Youtube video really sums it up:
2. Carrie and Big
Unfortunately, this is one of the most romantic relationships on television. It's unfortunate because it's super dysfunctional, but it's still very romantic because, as anyone raised in the '90s knows, being in love and being angsty are very important parts of life, and are usually one in the same. (Take, for example, Reality Bites, my friends). And anyone who has been in love knows how painful it can be, and confusing and heartbreaking. How seeing the other person for the first time with someone else could make you cry for days. But also, love makes you finally feel that there's another person in the world that understands you. And forces you to know that you will never be able to understand someone else, no matter how hard you try. Carrie and Big are these feelings brought to life. Carrie and Big are the concept of the One Great Love brought to life.
The reason why I consider Moon River to be one of the most, if not the most, romantic songs of all time is because of this show. Specifically, the scene when Big is moving to California and Carrie brings over a pizza, not knowing that he's moving, and gets all upset, and goes through his records, and starts making fun of him for having Henry Mancini and then he plays it and they dance... It's on the same level as the famous When Harry Met Sally... scene. Because really, in both cases they're two drifters who don't know how it works. But in the end, both Harry and Big make the Romantic Gesture and get back their H.M., New York ladies with their fabulous, curly hair.
3. Fabulous is now a part of my vocabulary
4. Samantha Jones and the Concept of "Slut"
First of all, we all know that the word "slut" is a sexist and disgusting word to use. It is specifically female and used to punish women for having any sort of sexual agency. That's why it's so offensive. No duh. The reason why Samantha is such an amazing character is because her character in this show is used in the same way the SlutWalk is used: female sexuality is shoved in people's faces as something that is acceptable and should be expected. It is an attempt to make people feel uncomfortable - using the negative word "slut" in a positive way shocks and offends people to make the word have less meaning in the same way artists use religious figures and symbols to shock and offend to make a point. Samantha is the SlutWalk of Sex and the City.
Additionally, Samantha is older than the rest of the women in the show by about 10 years, yet continues to have a healthy sex life. An older, single woman being sexually active is never an issue. The issue is how a woman who is so proud of her sexuality deals with getting older when society tells us that older women are sexless creatures. It is settled, like most things in Sex and the City, by saying that Samantha, and the rest of the Fab Four, is fabulous no matter what.
The slut issue is addressed many times in the show, and it is decided that no, these women are not sluts. Samantha is the strongest voice in this opinion, and is the strongest voice in defending her lifestyle choice. The most interesting episode that addresses this, though, is Cover Girl. Basically, Carrie walks in on Samantha giving the World Wide Express guy a blow job in Samantha's office when Carrie is meeting her for lunch. The rest of the episode Sam is upset that Carrie is judging her for being a slut. In the end, Carrie admits that she judged Samantha, though she says that she also admires Sam's ability to put her sex life out there, and Samantha admits that she judges herself, too. But this moment is not one to prove how slutty she is and how it's wrong like it would be in most shows. Samantha on a regular basis throughout the series expresses that she is fabulous and that her life is fabulous. This does not change. This specific situation was based on Samantha's insecurities after her relationship with Richard went sour and how she is still dealing with that. The point of this storyline is to show that we all have insecurities and it doesn't matter how strong of a person you are, there will be times when you will question yourself.
5. Relationships are the main subject matter
Yes, I like to talk about relationships. Yes, I like romantic movies and ideas (the ones that don't make me want to puke, that is). And yes, I know how stereotypical it is for a woman to gossip about relationships and to romanticize romance, but it's fun. And actually! Gossip is one of the best ways to form bonds with others. It reinforces the fact that you exist within the same social group; that you are all the We and not the Them. It reinforces that we are not alone in this life. So, watching other, fake women's relationship issues is a fun release, and also a parallel to our own lives. We can watch this show and see other women deal with the same bullshit that we do and have to ask the same questions we do. It provides the pararelationships that humans have enjoyed since stories have existed. I know Carrie isn't one of my friends, but watching the show makes me feel like she is, and I enjoy that feeling, and I like pretending that I'm also sharing in her relationship problems. Basic rules of entertainment.
**Everything said here only applies to the show. Don't worry, I know the movies are atrocious.
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