Daniel Tosh is Disgusting

 Daniel Tosh likes to joke about rape.  Someone in his audience did not think it was funny, as was written about here.  So, I posted about it on facebook, and this is the awesome conversation that ensued:

And this is why I have awesome friends.  Not one person decided to try to defend Daniel Tosh for being a total douche-bag.  Speaking of which!  You should definitely read the article that was posted called "Douchebag Decree: Daniel Tosh and the "Comedy" of Rape Culture".  It's really, very good.  And ok, maybe she shouldn't have called out during his set.  I realize that constitutes "heckling," and is therefore looked down on.  And yes, comics deal with hecklers in their own way.  But calling on your audience (a lot of whom really look up to you) to act violently or in an invasive way is not the way to deal with it, because they probably will, since they have in the past.  Would Daniel Tosh have really laughed if five of his audience members raped that woman right there, right then?  Probably not.  I would hope not.  But it would be in his name, anyway.

Unfortunately, though, my friends do have a bit of the rape culture blinders on.  When the Lara Croft rape thing was a big deal a month ago, some of my gamer friends, who are pretty aware of gender politics, became complete dick-wads and basically said "You're a tight-ass, frigid, hysterical woman who will get offended by anything," and no matter what I or those who agreed with me said, no matter how solid and academically backed our argument was, it would always come back to that.  That or that I'm not as big of a gamer than them, so therefore I don't know anything about media and rape culture.

But that's the thing with people who will defend media or people who make light of rape culture: they are so invested in it that either 1) they don't think it's a problem but have heard about it or 2) think that it doesn't exist/don't know what it is.  Either way, they will see any criticism as a criticism of the media and, by extension, a criticism of themselves.  Calling for something to be better by no way suggests that everyone that enjoys it is a rapist or a rape apologist.  

Personally, I watch movies and TV and like stand-up comedy and enjoy games and listen to music and sometimes watch music videos.  That in no way means that I don't think it should be better, more self-aware, or not perpetuate the most disgusting parts of our society.  Take hip-hop or rap, for example.  I enjoy that kind of music quite a lot, and that kind of music is pretty misogynistic and rape-y and demeaning to women a lot of the time.  When it's too much, I avoid it, yes, because at that point it's hard to overlook the lyrics for the sake of the music, but it's impossible to avoid ever an instance of misogyny in rap and hip hop.  Or any media, for that matter, if you enjoy the media.  That in no way means it can't get better.  In fact, if you love the media and/or identify with it, you should call for it to become better.

Probably the main reason I love dead prez.

It's the same mentality as neo-conservatives who say, "You're with us or you're against us!" to imply that no one can be a patriot who disagrees with what the government does.  And I disagree.  I believe that one of our responsibilities as citizens is to call on our country to become a better and more moral place.

Or comedians like Patton Oswald who bitched on twitter that someone was offended by a rape joke.  Or when comedians were pissed that Tracy Morgan had to apologize for saying he would stab his son to death if he came out as gay.  That wasn't funny either.

The thing is that it isn't just a joke or just a game or just a whatever.  What we are exposed to in media will affect the way we think and the way we feel about the subjects presented to us.  Media teaches us what is funny, what is acceptable, and what is not funny and acceptable.  Being aware is the first step, and the second step is calling out that joke or game or whatever as offensive, because a lot of what is called out as offensive is offensive because it trivializes rape and violence against gay people and violence against abortion doctors and violence in general, which in turn will cause that violence to occur and then the greater society will not care.

We do live in a rape culture.  We should not.  And people who perpetuate that culture should not be put on some sort of forgiving pedestal because they exist within a certain cultural context.

Great Moments in Life

1. The moment I realized I no longer have body issues.  It was an amazing moment.  I was taking a shower and looked down at myself and realized that I love my body.  It is truly the only thing in the world that I have, that I can or can't count on.  It is my home.  And as a female in the US, this is something that doesn't always even happen.  In the media, such as What the Bleep Do We Know? and in Eat Pray Love (one is awesome, the other is a piece... you make the call), women don't have a chance to experience this until they are older: late 30's or 40's, and only after they have had important life experiences.  The fact that this happened when I was 19 is something of an anomaly, and if I am to understand the conversations with other women and the media at face value, body-acceptance is something that should be, but is yet unattainable for all women (and all men, for that matter).  It is too often that I see and meet amazing, beautiful people who have these detrimental mindsets, and I think it is the responsibility of all people to attempt to quell this.  No, I am not perfect, nor do I think I am, and neither is anyone else.  But this isn't the point.  The point is that we are all human and that requires love toward each other and toward ourselves.  Anyway, I'm really into Dead Prez right now, so enjoy, and keep doing you, Baby.

"Beauty exists not just on the surface."

2. Concerts and music festivals.  There's always at least one moment during a festival or concert where it becomes clear how beautiful the energy of a crowd of people all celebrating the same thing, all experiencing joy, really is.  I experienced this most intensely when I saw MGMT at Austin City Limits in 2008, when they started to play Kids.  The crowd of hundreds, maybe thousands of people lost it and everyone was singing and dancing.  It was very much a spiritual experience.  But maybe this feeling is why humans have religion, if we want to think about it in that way.  If anyone has experienced this at a concert, they know the feeling I mean.  How could humans back in the day having the same feeling or similar experience not take some spiritual opinion out of that?  And since it is based on mutual experience with other humans, a group is formed.  The feeling is attributed to something outside of themselves.  Rituals are created in order to continue to have the experience.  Stories are thought of, visions are had, to explain it.  It goes from there, and eventually it becomes stale and gay people aren't allowed to get married and women are closer to evil than god.  Unfortunately, I have not studied this at all, but it seems to make sense, so, I think it's the case.

3. When someone notices something about you that you think is special, without prompt.  For example, I have a freckle/mole on my forehead that I've always thought was unique.   My high school boyfriend and I were making avatars on the Wii, I made his and he made mine, and he made a point to put that freckle on it.  It was small, and something stupid, but it meant a lot that someone saw something that I loved about myself that they also thought was important, or to be presumptuous, special.

4. Anytime a deep and pure emotion is experienced.  It can be for any reason, positive or negative.  Pure sadness is just as positive as a feeling of pure joy, as ironic as that may sound.  But think about it.  To feel is to be alive, and pure emotions are beautiful.

5.  The first time I felt like a woman (or I guess, a man, if that's how you swing).  When I shaved my head, the first time I looked in the mirror afterward, I felt more like a woman than any other time in my entire life.  A woman's hair is one of her most important expressions of femininity, and frequently, women shave their heads in times of mourning, or their heads are shaved as a form of torture.  Mine was sort of in mourning, it was a strange time in my life, but when my hair was gone, it was very therapeutic.  This must be due to the social import of looking and being feminine for a female, and having the ovaries to break through that, and to be strong for myself.  And to be strong is to be woman.  You go, Grrl.

Everything here rocks, right?  And why do we experience these?  Why do we experience all the awesome things not listed here, like watching a really beautiful sunset, or chilling with really close friends, etc?  Because of the god in each of us, as the Dead Prez would probably agree...

I realize it's probably tacky to have two music videos 

by the same band 

in a post that isn't about the band...  

Fuck it.