Daniel Tosh likes to joke about rape. Someone in his audience did not think it was funny, as was written about here. So, I posted about it on facebook, and this is the awesome conversation that ensued:
And this is why I have awesome friends. Not one person decided to try to defend Daniel Tosh for being a total douche-bag. Speaking of which! You should definitely read the article that was posted called "Douchebag Decree: Daniel Tosh and the "Comedy" of Rape Culture". It's really, very good. And ok, maybe she shouldn't have called out during his set. I realize that constitutes "heckling," and is therefore looked down on. And yes, comics deal with hecklers in their own way. But calling on your audience (a lot of whom really look up to you) to act violently or in an invasive way is not the way to deal with it, because they probably will, since they have in the past. Would Daniel Tosh have really laughed if five of his audience members raped that woman right there, right then? Probably not. I would hope not. But it would be in his name, anyway.
Unfortunately, though, my friends do have a bit of the rape culture blinders on. When the Lara Croft rape thing was a big deal a month ago, some of my gamer friends, who are pretty aware of gender politics, became complete dick-wads and basically said "You're a tight-ass, frigid, hysterical woman who will get offended by anything," and no matter what I or those who agreed with me said, no matter how solid and academically backed our argument was, it would always come back to that. That or that I'm not as big of a gamer than them, so therefore I don't know anything about media and rape culture.
But that's the thing with people who will defend media or people who make light of rape culture: they are so invested in it that either 1) they don't think it's a problem but have heard about it or 2) think that it doesn't exist/don't know what it is. Either way, they will see any criticism as a criticism of the media and, by extension, a criticism of themselves. Calling for something to be better by no way suggests that everyone that enjoys it is a rapist or a rape apologist.
Personally, I watch movies and TV and like stand-up comedy and enjoy games and listen to music and sometimes watch music videos. That in no way means that I don't think it should be better, more self-aware, or not perpetuate the most disgusting parts of our society. Take hip-hop or rap, for example. I enjoy that kind of music quite a lot, and that kind of music is pretty misogynistic and rape-y and demeaning to women a lot of the time. When it's too much, I avoid it, yes, because at that point it's hard to overlook the lyrics for the sake of the music, but it's impossible to avoid ever an instance of misogyny in rap and hip hop. Or any media, for that matter, if you enjoy the media. That in no way means it can't get better. In fact, if you love the media and/or identify with it, you should call for it to become better.
Probably the main reason I love dead prez.
It's the same mentality as neo-conservatives who say, "You're with us or you're against us!" to imply that no one can be a patriot who disagrees with what the government does. And I disagree. I believe that one of our responsibilities as citizens is to call on our country to become a better and more moral place.
Or comedians like Patton Oswald who bitched on twitter that someone was offended by a rape joke. Or when comedians were pissed that Tracy Morgan had to apologize for saying he would stab his son to death if he came out as gay. That wasn't funny either.
The thing is that it isn't just a joke or just a game or just a whatever. What we are exposed to in media will affect the way we think and the way we feel about the subjects presented to us. Media teaches us what is funny, what is acceptable, and what is not funny and acceptable. Being aware is the first step, and the second step is calling out that joke or game or whatever as offensive, because a lot of what is called out as offensive is offensive because it trivializes rape and violence against gay people and violence against abortion doctors and violence in general, which in turn will cause that violence to occur and then the greater society will not care.
We do live in a rape culture. We should not. And people who perpetuate that culture should not be put on some sort of forgiving pedestal because they exist within a certain cultural context.
Earlier this month, I read an article about how it's becoming more commonplace for police to use groping of female protesters as a method of getting people to get arrested. The first story is pretty disgusting. I mean, the kind of situation you wouldn't expect in this country, because we like to think we have freedom and act bravely. Like, the kind of thing you would expect in a movie about oppressive states. Or like that scene in The Labyrinth, which you should watch if you don't know what I mean. Read it here:
And we don't live in/ on the way to a police state. And this isn't a rape culture. And women have total equality. And women aren't objectified on the daily. Seriously.
Apparently, it's normal to get drunk after only 4 beers. This is really weird to me because it takes me a lot more. I also drink a lot. But watching Sex and the City, as I am doing for the sake of fabulousness, makes me wonder... Carrie gets drunk at a baseball game after only 4 beers. Four. But they go out drinking almost every night, or at least we're lead to believe this to be true. When they go out for cocktails, do they really just have a couple and go home? Do they not drink to get drunk?
I guess New Mexicans really do know how to party.
I would still have a cocktail with Carrie Bradshaw any day, even though she's a lightweight.
And while I'm still on the subject of Sex and the City, and since I was a girl in the 90s and therefore have to choose which character I am, I totally am Miranda. Completely. We both have ex-boyfriends of the same name and, in this episode with the baseball game called "Take Me Out to the Ball Game", she gets pissed that her friends are only talking about men! This isn't something I've ever necessarily done, but I appreciate the sentiment and have felt this way. It's really hard to talk to women that only talk about men. It's weird because my life does not revolve around who I'm sleeping with or who I want to sleep with. For some women, that is definitely what it seems like.
"That's it, I'm out of here. All we talk about anymore is Big or balls or small dicks. How did it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It's like 7th grade with bank accounts. What about us? What about what we think, we feel, we know - Christ! Does it always have to be about them? Just... you know, give me a call when you're ready to talk about something other than men for a change."
I had two thoughts upon the completion of the documentary Miss Representation, written, directed, and produced by Jennifer Siebel Newsom; 'I really need to volunteer for an organization that impacts the lives of young people,' and 'I really need to send this to my parents.'
The DVD isn't out yet, so the documentary can be watched here:
This post is to be a sort of summary/review of the documentary. Hopefully, it'll interest some to view the film, and for those who have, maybe my take can be of interest to you, too.
I feel like I should give a little, baby warning for those with easily upset stomachs: there are a lot of generalizations in this post. It may at times seem like I'm saying "all women" or "all men," but I'm not. I realize that there are exceptions to every rule. I'm writing in generalizations because it's easier. You can de-bunch your panties, now.
You can't be what you can't see!! What a great poster.
"The only two choices for women: witch
and sexy kitten." - Miranda Hobbs "Oh you just said a mouthful there, sister." - Carrie Bradshaw
As a culture, women are brought up to be and being fundamentally
insecure. To be a woman means a constant strive for an unattainable level of beauty, and every woman in this culture has a unique but common experience in the attempt to achieve this unattainable goal. This essentially causes women to focus all of their energy toward their physical appearance, placing all of their worth on their bodies. We are distorted in what we see as beauty, we get conditioned to think anorexia is the norm, and this conditioning begins at an early age. Why do we think this? What is the motivation? Let's find out...
"How long is it going to take for someone to take a stand?"
When children are 7-years-old, girls and boys equally want to be
President, but by age 15, there's a huge gap, where boys want it more frequently. Girls are both told they cannot be President and not shown a reality were this occurs and is therefore possible (maybe little girls need to start watching more Battlestar Galactica). After all, "You cannot be what you cannot see," according to Marian Wright Edelman. This is why varied female representation in Hollywood is so important. As it is, stereotypes about women are what is portrayed in film. Only 16% of protagonists in movies are women, and a woman is only the protagonist when her life is centered on getting a
man. Chick flicks, for example,
revolve around getting into a relationship, getting married, and getting
pregnant. And when there is a woman in a movie whose main motivation is not to catch her man, she's a bitch. She's the Bitchy Boss, for another example, where the movie based around taking her down,
usually by a subordinate male.
The thing is, media isn't representing a person with these female characters, they're making cartoons of what a "good female" should be, and punish her when she does not embody that representation. That cartoon female is not as culturally relevant as her male counterpart, and in fact only exists to make the male more relevant; in this way, the female body becomes phallic. Phallic symbols represent power, like the Washington Monument. Therefore, when the female body is only valued for it's beauty, the more beautiful a woman is increases the power the man that won her has. In this way, the female body is used to establish power for a man and her body becomes a phallic symbol (I bet just femininismed the shit out of your mind).
The cartoon females are less intelligent, weaker, their needs in a relationship aren't as important, etc, and men are seeing this in film and television and learning this to be true as well. If a
man is taught that he's supposed to be better than women in every way
yet sees women who are smarter or more powerful than himself, what does it
mean to be a man? What can it mean to be a man? Men are trained to be emotionally constipated and are left without a healthy way to express
themselves because emotions are feminine, and to be feminine is to deny masculine, and this is unacceptable if one is to be a man. And so men lash out at women for emasculating them.
And this can be seen in how the abuse against women's bodies is commonplace in the United States (i.e. we live in a rape culture).
Statistics: 1 in 4 women are abused by a partner in their lifetime, and 1 in 6 women are raped in their lifetime. 16% of those raped are under the age of 12 at the time of the abuse.
"The Fighting Fuck Toy"
This is one of the most interesting concepts presented for me. "The Fighting Fuck Toy" is essentially one of those bad ass women that kicks ass while being sexy as shit. But the thing is, even though it seems like she's
doing things on her own terms, she is still objectified and exists for
the male viewer, just as a different flavor of fuck. Some like sweet, strawberry, Girl Next Door, and some like spicy, chili, Fighting Fuck Toy. It was interesting for me because I think I fell into this trap myself. My greatest concern is that Charlie's Angels is a representation of this. I really hope not because it's one of my favorite movies. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I realize how problematic it is... Oh well, those ladies kick ass and that's that. But Tomb Raider does suck. And so does Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, so, I'm cool... no, it's fine. I'm still a good feminist.
But they are bad ass and sexy.
"When you're not treated the same, you are de-humanized. When you're
not given the same opportunity, you're de-humanized. When people look
at you differently because you happen to be a women and you happen to be
in a position of some influence that someone who is a man would
naturally be in based on tradition or history and people question your
qualifications, that's de-humanizing." - Gavin Newsom
Now, advertising. It's based on making you feel anxious: women are told to be more beautiful, obviously, and men are told they are not powerful enough. These anxieties are not only caused by advertising, but what society tells us in general (which is hard to say because the question of whether media controls minds or minds control media is just as difficult to answer as the nature versus nurture debate. Safest to say it's both.) So, women now spend more money on beauty products to perpetuate the beauty myth shoved on them than their own education whereas men feel it necessary to have products that represent power, like the right kind of car. But in both cases, women are the ones objectified. Girls and women are seen as objects in these advertisements to make the products more desirable (you can be this body or you can fuck this body if you buy this product). This causes self-objectification for women and girls, which leads to depression, lower GPAs, women are less likely to run for office and vote, et cetera.
Meaning this democracy we're so proud of is not representative of half the population. Actually, according to the documentary, the national leadership in the United States is, on average, chosen from 6% of the country: male, white, straight and married, over 35, college educated, and with a professional degree.
To fix this lack of representation, we both need to have the female candidates (that is, women that can see themselves in powerful positions) and need Americans to be able to see a woman in powerful positions. Of course, this isn't all our fault (or our fault at all?); just look at the way powerful women are talked about in pop news. Female participation in the political process itself creates a
backlash in the media, regardless of their political stance because powerful women are only valued as far as they can be fucked. FOX News and Rush Limbaugh are perfect examples of this, even with Sarah Palin, who the GOP thought could be their saving grace in the Obama - McCain race. Some examples of the quality of commentary about powerful women are as follows: "ugly skank," "ugly hag," "fat moron,"
"wicked witch of the west," "[it's] rare to find a woman worthy of serving
political office", "[what problem with a woman President] besides the PMS and the mood swings?" and it goes on. That last one is one of the most disgusting interviews I've ever seen, actually. Of course it was on The O'Reilly Factor, and the man being interviewed was Marc Rudov, who didn't even have to think about that response. But it's because media (and/or society) treats
power as its defined by men, and power is therefore masculine. Any woman who attempts to have power is therefore attempting to be masculine, and therefore she needs to be put back in her place. She needs to be trivialized, become powerless, so that she can be feminine again. There are many ways media does this, and it all has to do with the way we speak about powerful women in order to perpetuate the stereotype of irrational and emotional, fuckable or not,
women.
Even though John Boehner is Mr. Emotional. But I guess he was feminized in the commentary about him. Hm...
"The media is the message and the messenger"
I'm pretty sure, at this point, that this whole thing - the way women are represented in media, the government trying to take away our rights and own our bodies, the way the media makes us believe that our bodies don't even belong to us in the first place anyway, etc - is a backlash to the Women's Rights movement. In the documentary, reality TV is pointed out in this regard. It feeds on the notion that women are natural enemies: conniving and manipulative bitches. But this is counter to real life (and this is also one of the reasons I love Sex and the City.) And since it's counter to real life, the woman's view has to be squashed in order to perpetuate this frame of thought. Space in the media realm is taken away from women as a backlash to women challenging men's power in the concrete realm.
Media is in the hands of men. That is, 97% of what you know about yourself and world is from the male perspective, and the male perspective says "Sex sells!... Well, fuckable females sell, penises are either gross or funny, depending on how afraid of sex the viewer is." People who employ other people tend to hire those who are a reflection of themselves, and media is a creation of what the people in charge know (read: white males). Obviously the glass ceiling exists.
And even though women have made progress, and I am not denying that in the slightest, to reiterate, media still defines who we are and
men are the ones who hold the positions of power and attempt to keep women out of power. And the thing is, even though women have made progress, and I am not denying that in the slightest, it has always been
problematic when women gain power. During the 1st wave, after WWII was
over, women were fired in droves and with a strong push by the government and with the use of capitalism, media was used to try to "re-domesticate"
women. During the 2nd wave, awesome shit
went down. But then in the 1980s, Reagan started his propaganda of the demonization of
the word liberal, and the feminist was a perfect representation of that. Feminists were seen as posing the greatest
threat to the social order at that time because they denied the role of the American female as wife and mother and therefore destroying the nuclear family. Isn't that what's happening today? Well, hot damn, that is interesting.
Media influence isn't all bad...
Too bad they just pretended this didn't happen to put us back in the home
where we belong.
But that is true in a way, the whole sex sells thing. The exploitation of women's bodies sells products to men 18 to 34. Apparently, men 18 to 34 are the hardest demographic to get to watch something. Throw some tits on it, make it viewable, because apparently, women will watch stories about men but men will not watch stories about women. Apparently, one half of the population just is not interested in the other half. Well, I guess, the sex part, but the talking and the stories and the human connection or relationship? No thank you. I'm sorry, but this can NOT possibly be true. Men have just been trained to think they shouldn't be interested in anything but sex, or at least not act like or speak like they are. Studies came out in 2009 that support the idea that "exposure to sexually explicit video games and music videos is linked to men's acceptance of rape myths and sexual harassment." This is the closest thing to proof that people who are exposed to violence are more likely to be violent. And that men who are exposed to sexual abuse as acceptable are more likely to abuse. So, maybe if men were able to see something other than "women are sex objects," and are able to think of them as humans, this whole rape culture thing wouldn't be such a big deal.
"These images are part of a cultural climate where women are seen as things, as objects, and turning a human being into a thing is almost always the first step toward justifying violence against that person." - Jean Kilbourne
This music is in the film and is just perfect. Metric.
1) Measure yourself by your
accomplishments and not by how you look.
"If you and I, every time
we pass a mirror, downgrade on how we look or complain about our looks,
if we remember that a girl is watching us and that is how she's
learning." - Gloria Steinem
2) Reflect on the ways you
might contribute to sexism.
"I think that as women we need to stop
that destructive behavior that we inflict upon each other and
ultimately onto ourselves."
3) Support media that shows accomplished and complex women characters.
4) Boycott media that objectifies women.
5) See movies written and directed by women.
6) Create your own media showing women in complex roles.
7) Teach those around you to look at the media critically.
Which I tried to do when my friends went to see Transformers 2 and I had to explain to them why I would never see that movie, for example.
8) Challenge friends when they say fucked up shit about women.
9) Find healthy role models and be a healthy role model.
10) Support women in power.
If you agree with they way they're using their power, otherwise, to the wolves with them!
1. The moment I realized I no longer have body issues. It was an amazing moment. I was taking a shower and looked down at myself and realized that I love my body. It is truly the only thing in the world that I have, that I can or can't count on. It is my home. And as a female in the US, this is something that doesn't always even happen. In the media, such as What the Bleep Do We Know? and in Eat Pray Love (one is awesome, the other is a piece... you make the call), women don't have a chance to experience this until they are older: late 30's or 40's, and only after they have had important life experiences. The fact that this happened when I was 19 is something of an anomaly, and if I am to understand the conversations with other women and the media at face value, body-acceptance is something that should be, but is yet unattainable for all women (and all men, for that matter). It is too often that I see and meet amazing, beautiful people who have these detrimental mindsets, and I think it is the responsibility of all people to attempt to quell this. No, I am not perfect, nor do I think I am, and neither is anyone else. But this isn't the point. The point is that we are all human and that requires love toward each other and toward ourselves. Anyway, I'm really into Dead Prez right now, so enjoy, and keep doing you, Baby.
"Beauty exists not just on the surface."
2. Concerts and music festivals. There's always at least one moment during a festival or concert where it becomes clear how beautiful the energy of a crowd of people all celebrating the same thing, all experiencing joy, really is. I experienced this most intensely when I saw MGMT at Austin City Limits in 2008, when they started to play Kids. The crowd of hundreds, maybe thousands of people lost it and everyone was singing and dancing. It was very much a spiritual experience. But maybe this feeling is why humans have religion, if we want to think about it in that way. If anyone has experienced this at a concert, they know the feeling I mean. How could humans back in the day having the same feeling or similar experience not take some spiritual opinion out of that? And since it is based on mutual experience with other humans, a group is formed. The feeling is attributed to something outside of themselves. Rituals are created in order to continue to have the experience. Stories are thought of, visions are had, to explain it. It goes from there, and eventually it becomes stale and gay people aren't allowed to get married and women are closer to evil than god. Unfortunately, I have not studied this at all, but it seems to make sense, so, I think it's the case.
3. When someone notices something about you that you think is special, without prompt. For example, I have a freckle/mole on my forehead that I've always thought was unique. My high school boyfriend and I were making avatars on the Wii, I made his and he made mine, and he made a point to put that freckle on it. It was small, and something stupid, but it meant a lot that someone saw something that I loved about myself that they also thought was important, or to be presumptuous, special.
4. Anytime a deep and pure emotion is experienced. It can be for any reason, positive or negative. Pure sadness is just as positive as a feeling of pure joy, as ironic as that may sound. But think about it. To feel is to be alive, and pure emotions are beautiful.
5. The first time I felt like a woman (or I guess, a man, if that's how you swing). When I shaved my head, the first time I looked in the mirror afterward, I felt more like a woman than any other time in my entire life. A woman's hair is one of her most important expressions of femininity, and frequently, women shave their heads in times of mourning, or their heads are shaved as a form of torture. Mine was sort of in mourning, it was a strange time in my life, but when my hair was gone, it was very therapeutic. This must be due to the social import of looking and being feminine for a female, and having the ovaries to break through that, and to be strong for myself. And to be strong is to be woman. You go, Grrl.
Everything here rocks, right? And why do we experience these? Why do we experience all the awesome things not listed here, like watching a really beautiful sunset, or chilling with really close friends, etc? Because of the god in each of us, as the Dead Prez would probably agree...
I realize it's probably tacky to have two music videos
I feel like I should preface this by saying that I do think about more than TV. I have the kinds of thoughts intellectual persons have. Take politics. I like to think and talk about it and I will most likely do so in the future. I may even write about it! For now, however, I feel it is important to pay homage to the name-sake of my blog beyond "I.D.K., I just like it, ok?"
1. Strong, Female-Female Relationships
I realized recently that all of the female-male relationships in this show only serve to reinforce the relationships between Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte. Even the gay male characters serve this purpose. It seems that many people write off the show as a television version of Cosmopolitan, where the intent is to attempt to make women view their self worth in terms of what men they have and how one can then please a man once he has been attained. But this is not the case. In reality, this show is about being happy being single, and not being single, and reinforcing the idea that female-female friendships should be the leaning-post in a woman's life. In fact, the fairytale idea of romantic love that almost any person raised in the West ascribes to (or feels expected to ascribe to)? Not really present in this show. The only character that even attempts to have this kind of love, Charlotte, is disappointed over and over until she is forced to reconsider what love really is. In the episode The Agony and the Ecstasy, she says, "Maybe we can be each others' soul mates, and then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with."
Throughout human history, female-female friendships have always been one of the most important kinds of relationships a woman can have. It is not the relationship with her husband - in fact, in many cultures, the way women speak about their relationships with their husbands is very negative. Though, this may be only in specific kinds of kinship systems, but let's not delve into anthropological theory. The point is, women in Western society, at least in the United states have been raised to think of other women as back-stabbing bitches who are only out to get theirs. That is, women are thought of as competing for the best male (social Darwinism - one of the most disgusting bastardizations of Darwin's theories). Our fairy tales begin and end with that male. This show is entirely against that idea. It forces healthy friendships into the light and presents them as an important part of a woman's life. And they are. It is this idea of competition between women that is so disgusting and has done nothing but to attempt to sever these important relationships, which in effect is an attempt to dismantle the woman's rights movement. In my opinion.
I think this Youtube video really sums it up:
2. Carrie and Big
Unfortunately, this is one of the most romantic relationships on television. It's unfortunate because it's super dysfunctional, but it's still very romantic because, as anyone raised in the '90s knows, being in love and being angsty are very important parts of life, and are usually one in the same. (Take, for example, Reality Bites, my friends). And anyone who has been in love knows how painful it can be, and confusing and heartbreaking. How seeing the other person for the first time with someone else could make you cry for days. But also, love makes you finally feel that there's another person in the world that understands you. And forces you to know that you will never be able to understand someone else, no matter how hard you try. Carrie and Big are these feelings brought to life. Carrie and Big are the concept of the One Great Love brought to life.
The reason why I consider Moon River to be one of the most, if not the most, romantic songs of all time is because of this show. Specifically, the scene when Big is moving to California and Carrie brings over a pizza, not knowing that he's moving, and gets all upset, and goes through his records, and starts making fun of him for having Henry Mancini and then he plays it and they dance... It's on the same level as the famous When Harry Met Sally... scene. Because really, in both cases they're two drifters who don't know how it works. But in the end, both Harry and Big make the Romantic Gesture and get back their H.M., New York ladies with their fabulous, curly hair.
3. Fabulous is now a part of my vocabulary
4. Samantha Jones and the Concept of "Slut"
First of all, we all know that the word "slut" is a sexist and disgusting word to use. It is specifically femaleand used to punish women for having any sort of sexual agency. That's why it's so offensive. No duh. The reason why Samantha is such an amazing character is because her character in this show is used in the same way the SlutWalk is used: female sexuality is shoved in people's faces as something that is acceptable and should be expected. It is an attempt to make people feel uncomfortable - using the negative word "slut" in a positive way shocks and offends people to make the word have less meaning in the same way artists use religious figures and symbols to shock and offend to make a point. Samantha is the SlutWalk of Sex and the City.
Additionally, Samantha is older than the rest of the women in the show by about 10 years, yet continues to have a healthy sex life. An older, single woman being sexually active is never an issue. The issue is how a woman who is so proud of her sexuality deals with getting older when society tells us that older women are sexless creatures. It is settled, like most things in Sex and the City, by saying that Samantha, and the rest of the Fab Four, is fabulous no matter what.
The slut issue is addressed many times in the show, and it is decided that no, these women are not sluts. Samantha is the strongest voice in this opinion, and is the strongest voice in defending her lifestyle choice. The most interesting episode that addresses this, though, is Cover Girl. Basically, Carrie walks in on Samantha giving the World Wide Express guy a blow job in Samantha's office when Carrie is meeting her for lunch. The rest of the episode Sam is upset that Carrie is judging her for being a slut. In the end, Carrie admits that she judged Samantha, though she says that she also admires Sam's ability to put her sex life out there, and Samantha admits that she judges herself, too. But this moment is not one to prove how slutty she is and how it's wrong like it would be in most shows. Samantha on a regular basis throughout the series expresses that she is fabulous and that her life is fabulous. This does not change. This specific situation was based on Samantha's insecurities after her relationship with Richard went sour and how she is still dealing with that. The point of this storyline is to show that we all have insecurities and it doesn't matter how strong of a person you are, there will be times when you will question yourself.
5. Relationships are the main subject matter
Yes, I like to talk about relationships. Yes, I like romantic movies and ideas (the ones that don't make me want to puke, that is). And yes, I know how stereotypical it is for a woman to gossip about relationships and to romanticize romance, but it's fun. And actually! Gossip is one of the best ways to form bonds with others. It reinforces the fact that you exist within the same social group; that you are all the We and not the Them. It reinforces that we are not alone in this life. So, watching other, fake women's relationship issues is a fun release, and also a parallel to our own lives. We can watch this show and see other women deal with the same bullshit that we do and have to ask the same questions we do. It provides the pararelationships that humans have enjoyed since stories have existed. I know Carrie isn't one of my friends, but watching the show makes me feel like she is, and I enjoy that feeling, and I like pretending that I'm also sharing in her relationship problems. Basic rules of entertainment.
**Everything said here only applies to the show. Don't worry, I know the movies are atrocious.
